if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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