Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
