are you so shy because you have an std?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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