Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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