She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
