I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
