she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
