I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
