I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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