Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
