I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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