Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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