Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
