the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
