why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
