Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Be still, my beating vagina.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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