4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
