Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
