no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
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Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
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We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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