OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
