I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
