Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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