ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
