i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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