i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i now understand why vodka
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
