I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
