Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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