I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
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sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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