He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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