And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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