somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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