Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
