Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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