So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ugly people sure do ruin things
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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