after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
