you mean i was at the winter classic?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
