So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
