Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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