Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
