Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
