who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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