Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this beer tastes like vomit already
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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