I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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