remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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