How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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