Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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