well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
