why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
