who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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