I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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