why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
