at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
we're so committed to being not committed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
