North Korea, Best Korea!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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