Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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