i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize