Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
