Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
