break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
