Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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