hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
