i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
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No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
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All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize