how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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