Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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